Shirley's Mind Grapes

Shirley's Mind Grapes

The answers to questions nobody asked

1960s

Dailies 01/30/14

Dailies 01/30/14

Daily Doodle: Li’l Sebastian

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Song of the Day: Goin’ Down by Freddie King

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_ONyukSLqA

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m on the side of a stage playing the piano hard. I’m slightly slouched over to allow the muscles in my biceps keep up with the tempo. Nobody in the audience cares who I am or what I look like; they’re just enjoying the music.

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Blurb 1/365: All good things come with the new year!

Dailies 01/27/14

Dailies 01/27/14

Daily Doodle: Harumph

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Song of the Day: Tell Him by The Exciters

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ah-tui1ubnU

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m singing this song in a Chipmunks on Ice show. Some other singers and I are in the center of an ice skating rink on a platform and The Chipmunks and The Chipettes are skating around us and doing single axels. Kids are throwing roses onto the ice.

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Blurb 1/365: Put your hand into a fist. Then look at it. Your fist is different from everybody else’s.

Dailies 01/25/14

Dailies 01/25/14

Daily Doodle: Umm, Excuse Me?

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Song of the Day: Last Kiss as performed by J. Frank Wilson and the Cavaliers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh4se9YMV3A

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m singing back up and playing bass. My head is bouncing back and forth to the beat.

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Blurb 1/365: I like watching tv for long periods of time with the only other things on my agenda being eating food and checking in on Animal Crossing. Perfect. Weekend.

Dailies 01/24/14

Dailies 01/24/14

Daily Doodle: Huh?

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Song of the Day: Hey Paula by Paul & Paula

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQW6RYQklo

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Musical Pipe Dream: We’re swaying back and forth and taking turns singing into one microphone. When we sing in unison, we both lean in closer and hold hands while continuing to two step from side to side.

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Blurb 1/365: Uh one, uh two, and uh one, two, three, four!

Dailies 12/26/13

Dailies 12/26/13

Daily Doodle: Perfect Apples

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Song of the Day: I Just Want to Make Love to You as sung by Etta James

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4ErjX8p20s

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Musical Pipe Dream: I re-enact the scene in the movie Adventures in Babysitting after the man says, “Nobody leaves this stage without singing the blues,” and I sing this song to a stone faced audience.

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Blurb 1/365: Against the balloon vendor’s advice, I bought all the mylar balloons. I tied heavy bells with loose slipknots to the bottom of each one and situated them on the sidewalk where people were clicking their tongues at me and taking wide steps to either side to avoid the balloons. People started to avoid me all together and the hustle and bustle continued on the opposite side of the street. I looked upon my balloon farm with a victorious smile. With my arms spread wide and head held up high, I walked into the balloons’ warm embrace. After a few joyous twirls, the balloons were hugging me from all sides and all I could see was metallic beauty. The bells jingled and stayed on the ground. They wobbled a bit from the inertia of the ball bearings and almost appeared like they were waving goodbye. The strings came loose and I floated into the sky towards the sunset on the horizon.

Dailies 12/14/13

Dailies 12/14/13

Daily Doodle: Cat Sandals

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Song of the Day: Handy Man by Jimmy Jones

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uVyBRdBVCiU

and James Taylor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGdWA93e-Ls

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Musical Pipe Dream: In the Jimmy Jones version, I’m singing backup and clapping and two-stepping emphatically. In the James Taylor version, I’m playing the drums with stick straight hair in my face and I’m wearing a denim vest.

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Blurb 1/365: Setting deadlines for myself is the only way I can get things done. I’ve had verbal arguments with myself out loud about why I need to finish this or that or why I don’t have time or I’m too tired to do this or that or to calm the f down about not finishing this or that. Sometimes I don’t even want to get out of bed. I gotta keep motivated, like, I get up and get ready, and then I can have McDonald’s breakfast. Setting deadlines is also a good way to keep busy. It keeps me away from my triggers. Triggers that make me unhealthy. Even if I have to swim through triggers everyday, if I keep busy, it really only leaves me with one option to keep my mind on; whatever I’m keeping busy with. Once I’ve finished with all the day to day stuff, I don’t come home and reminisce about things that pissed me off, I complete the next deadline. Then I get to eat something I like with the people I love. (Futurama reference!) I also reward myself with things like binges on Futurama/Simpsons/Bob’s Burgers/House Hunters, movies on Netflix, shaking trees on Animal Crossing.

The most important and difficult deadlines for me to make are for the things that I want to do. I just have to make those deadlines just like I make every other deadline. It’s just that hard and it’s just that simple.

Dailies 12/13/13

Dailies 12/13/13

Daily Doodle: Puppy Flip Flops

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Song of the Day: I Started a Joke by the Bee Gees

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dq6YmSVAOG8

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m strumming on an acoustic guitar hooked up to an amp. At the end of a stanza I strum the pick slightly forward as I go down the strings and look up for the cue to start up again.

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Blurb 1/365: If I ever get famous or have a reason to be on a talk show like The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, firstly, I’d have to pinch myself to make sure it was real, and secondly, I’d be sure to sit like a normal person would. I wouldn’t slouch or anything, but I would sit normally where a normal stomach pooch would naturally stick out. I have seen one too many interviews with men and women sitting at the edge of a seat, looking like they need to pee or poo, all seemingly to keep their tummy from sticking out. Not only does it make them appear awkward, I end up looking at their stomachs being sucked in and thinking about it more than I would if they had just sat like a normal person. There shouldn’t be so much pressure on people in the public eye to look like mannequins. Shoooot, mannequins shouldn’t be looking like that either.