Shirley's Mind Grapes

Shirley's Mind Grapes

The answers to questions nobody asked

1990s

Dailies 03/14/14

Dailies 03/14/14

Daily Doodle: Keep On Smiling

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Song of the Day: Here I Go by Mystikal

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ag8nT3ofkdM

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Musical Pipe Dream: Everything’s in slow motion at a picnic at the park. Women are arriving and walking jello molds of all different flavors and fruit cocktail fruit pieces over to the main table.

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Blurb 1/365: Playing Animal Crossing is a big stress reliever for me. The animals just walk around planting flowers and saying things like, “Take every opportunity you can to dance. Whether it’s a sunny morning or a rainy afternoon, nothing lifts the spirits like some carefree dancing.” Then you can sometimes see them at the club shakin’ it to Totokeke’s beats.

Dailies 03/09/14

Dailies 03/09/14

Daily Doodle: Ideas

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Song of the Day: Fu-Gee-La (Sly & Robbie Remix) by Fugees

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Q8odsJgrQ

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m 13 and I’m sticking my skinny noodle arm out the window of my sister’s two door Honda.

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Blurb 1/365: Dr. Foster: Would you please tell your son to stop?

Flanders’ Dad: We can’t do it, man! That’s discipline! That’s like tellin’ Gene Krupa not to go [starts banging on the desk] “boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom bam bam bam, boom boom boom bam ba ba ba ba, da boo boo tss!” We don’t believe in rules, like, we gave them up when we started livin’ like freaky beatniks!

Dr. Foster: You don’t believe in rules, yet you want to control Ned’s anger.

Flanders’ Mom: Yeah. You gotta help us, Doc. We’ve tried nothin’ and we’re all out of ideas.

Dailies 02/14/14

Dailies 02/14/14

Dailies: Puppygram!

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Song of the Day: You Got Me Wide Open by Bootsy Collins featuring Bernie Worrell

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAfgOAJMh5c

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m sitting at the back end of a stage playing the drums. I’ve got a microphone nearby my head so I can turn my head to sing backup. “Sittin’ on a groove and he wanna play …” Then I can snap my head back to break into the next part of the song.

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Blurb 1/365:

Blurb 1/365: I remember listening to the Friday soundtrack for the first time on cassette tape. I got it from The Wherehouse and it was packaged in a cardboard case that slipped on from one of the short ends. I had a clock radio that I kept on the side of my bed that was against a wall next to my pillow. It was a big, rectangle block that had sharp edges. There was a tape deck that popped up from the top. I would quietly click it down and listen to tapes on the lowest volume. I let a friend borrow it to record onto a blank cassette tape and when he returned it, I made some smart comment about it not being rewound. He said, “Who are you, Blockbuster?” Then I remembered the movie Kathleen Turner was in called Serial Mom where she killed that person that didn’t rewind their rented video tapes. I remember the oddest things.

Dailies 12/01/13

Dailies 12/01/13

Daily Doodle: Dinosaur Hedge

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Song of the Day: Shoop by Salt-n-Pepa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vaN01VLYSQ

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m attending a karaoke contest and there are a group of women singing this song. They all have name tags on and a woman named Susan starts rapping Spinderella’s part. She’s all smiles but comes to a halt upon the line, “and he knows that my name is not Susan”.

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Blurb 1/365: Sweet dreams.

Dailies 11/22/13

Dailies 11/22/13

Daily Doodle: Chillin’

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Song of the Day: Someday by Mariah Carey

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4RWfSUWVP2I

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m doing a medley of every 90s dance known to man.

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Blurb 1/365: I’ve loved Family Feud for as long as I can remember, but now that Steve Harvey’s the host, I love it even more. “CUPINE!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fdcleUk-T4U

Dailies 11/20/13

Dailies 11/20/13

Daily Doodle: The Bings and the Maraschinos Go Bowling

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Song of the Day: Bust a Move by Young MC

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZQQGX24Teg

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Musical Pipe Dream: I’m dancing like Patrice in Coming to America when she’s trying to impress Akeem.

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Blurb 1/365: I dreamt about a toy called “Potato Man Dan” which was basically a Mr. Potato Head, but the accessories that you attached to it were made of metal. So the box came with all the metal accessories, wire, a paper cup, toothpicks, and a small light bulb. Potato not included. You’d get your own potato and the toy was intended to be built into a potato battery.

In my dream, the writer Jenny Johnson tweeted about the toy and told parents to get this toy for their kids and sing them a confusing jingle about connecting the wires in a certain way with the intention of the kids receiving a small electric shock.

In my dream I designed and patented this toy and Jenny Johnson tweeted about it. One can always dream.

Dailies 11/17/13

Dailies 11/17/13

Daily Doodle: Backwards Hat

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Song of the Day: The Sign by Ace of Base

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNPjeIamsck

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Musical Pipe Dream: My sisters and I are at a convenience store and when this song comes on they perform a choreographed dance with chaînés and leaps.

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Blurb 1/365: I cooked something today because there was no reason not to. I had the time, the ingredients, and I had enough sleep. Now I have leftovers for tomorrow!